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Dutton, 2000
$19.95 hardcover
196 pages

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When Katie Tarbox was thirteen, she met a guy in an online chat room. They were both athletes, both liked clothing and the same kinds of music. His name was Mark, he was 23, lived in California, and over the next six months he became her best friend. Finally, they arranged to meet face to face, when Katie would be in Texas for a swim meet.

But Mark was not what he said. In reality, he was a 41-year-old man with a history of seducing teenage girls. His name wasn't even "Mark."

Katie had a close call that night in the hotel, and she spends the next two years of her life caught in the aftermath of the event.

Now, at age 17, she tells her story.

As a memoir, the goal of Katie.com is as a cautionary tale: this is what happened to me, don't let it happen to you. It is an easy read, gripping because it is supposed to be true, but also difficult to believe, in places, for the same reason.

There are so many minor inconsistencies as to undermine Tarbox as an honest narrator -- and the reader's trust is critical to the success of a memoir. A small example: early on she states, "Even though my mom could be strict, she was also a mentor and a best friend"; but everything Tarbox says subsequently indicates she felt her mother ignored the family in general and herself in particular.

Considered objectively, her early mistakes were blindly stupid. In the very first exchange with Mark, he asked for -- and she told him! -- her phone number. And in their next online chat, he not only mentioned that he had just returned from visiting another 14-year-old girl, but also asked Katie if she were a virgin. And she was not alarmed by this?! She writes that it "seemed peculiar," nothing more.

Tarbox spends much of the early chapters describing the circumstances that allowed her to fall into Mark's trap, with an air of denying responsibility for her own mistakes. Because her town placed great emphasis on physical beauty and she knew she wasn't beautiful, for instance, therefore she had low self-esteem. To her credit, Tarbox never actually blames "the Internet" for her ordeal (as the book's promotional materials repeatedly suggest) but she also never admits that her mistakes and gullibility could have made her open to similar predatory behavior anywhere.

A final disappointment: Tarbox never says how the chaperons and police learned she had gone to Mark's room that fateful night in time to rescue her. Presumably her roommate had the wisdom and guts to tell, but Tarbox does not acknowledge this and its absence seems mean-spirited.

Take Katie's story with a grain of salt. Take the lessons regarding wise and safe use of the Internet to heart.

Visit Katherine Tarbox's web site at KatieT.com.

Explore the resources here at ChildWatch.com to learn how families can work together to help make using the Internet safe.

• Safety Tips for Kids
• Safety Tips for Parents
• The Internet Safety Pledge for Kids

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